Most of you know I’m a huge advocate of Trim Healthy Mama, the eating plan based on this book. It’s a low glycemic index plan that focuses on separating fats and carbs, but not excluding entire food groups like so many plans do.
Well last month I decided to join a Diet Bet challenge as a way to stay motivated and lose a little more weight before Winston comes home. What I’m about to share is going to open myself up to all sorts of criticism; but let me explain…
The expectation of sex after not seeing your significant other for 12 months is an insane stress. It makes you wax and spray tan all the things because everyone knows tan fat looks better. It doesn’t help that for the last 365 days that I’ve been creating human life, giving birth to that human, and sustaining his little life with my own body, Winston has been spending hours a day in the gym. Y’all. He left with a spare tire and is coming home with Bieber abs. “What a lucky girl!” you may be thinking. Well, yeah, but see above comments on stress.
So now you know where my head has been these last few weeks and why I did what I did. It started with this amazing taco soup recipe that literally has magic powers. It was posted in Women’s World magazine with an article explaining how it makes you feel fuller and the okra holds the magic of unicorn tears when it comes to weight loss.
Against my better judgement based on my knowledge of nutrition and milk production, I decided to eat this soup once or twice a day last week. I topped it with sour cream or plain Greek yogurt, bacon, cheese and cilantro. It’s amazing, y’all, I highly recommend you try it. But. I ate it every time in an S setting and neglected to add the necessary carbs to have an E or Crossover.
And it worked. I lost almost 6 pounds, it kicked my sugar cravings, and because of the extra heat I was drinking no less than a gallon of water a day. I worked out hard 6 days in a row and ate low carb for almost an entire week.
Sunday afternoon I started feeling the familiar ache that told me I was getting a clogged duct. I nursed Isaac several times in the night as a precaution, but woke up in pain Monday morning. Again, against my better judgement based on what I know about clogged ducts and mastitis, I powered through and completed not one, but two classes at the gym. By the time I got home I was shaking with exhaustion.
Isaac refused to nurse, and it just went downhill from there. He started fussing around 1:30 and it turned to full blown screaming by 2:00. Nothing I did worked, and nursing just seemed to frustrate him even more. I managed to get him asleep in a Tula for 30 minutes or so, but then he’d wake up and start screaming again.
By 9:00 I started to feel concern that he was actually having a cardiac event and I just hadn’t picked up on it yet. I tried to check his heart rate, but between the squirming and screaming I couldn’t get it. I gave him Tylenol, teething tablets and gas drops; and, still, none of it worked. Around 10:00 I decided to call the pediatrician and leave a voicemail. Around 11:00, I made him an 8 oz bottle as a last ditch effort before taking him to the ER for an EKG. He chugged the bottle and fell asleep, really asleep, for the first time all day.
That’s when it hit me. My baby had been crying for close to 10 hours because he was hungry.
I felt so guilty.
But I still went to the gym today. I decided I’d still work out with lighter weights, and just eat carbs with every meal today to try to increase my supply. I had oatmeal for breakfast; and since we needed to eat in the car, I had Chick-Fil-A for lunch. I even had a cookie in the name of milk production.
This afternoon Isaac had a well baby appointment and vaccinations. All was going well until I placed his naked little body on the scale and saw 18.0 lbs flash on the scale. The nurse looked over his report the cardiologist had sent over and confirmed what I was afraid of… Not only had Isaac not gained, but he’d lost 5 ounces.
Clearly, he had them to spare; but that’s not the point. I’m quite familiar with “mom guilt”; but this is a whole new level. My selfish choice to throw caution to the wind and basically crash diet is now affecting my baby.
This week has taught me a very important lesson: my nursing relationship is too precious to ruin over losing body fat. I have literally put my blood, sweat and tears into breastfeeding this baby; and I’m not about to throw that all away.
So for the next few days, I’m focusing on resting, eating all the carbs, and getting my supply back up so we can continue nursing for another 6 months or more. Dinner tonight was asparagus stuffed chicken, roasted asparagus, and Stovetop stuffing (I had a box lying in the pantry and didn’t have time to make brown rice).
And as I was writing this post, I had a knock on my door… A neighbor was standing on the other side holding an Edible Arrangement from a sweet friend who knows I’ve been struggling. It had been delivered to her house by mistake, and she very kindly brought it over. Lemme tell ya, if someone accidentally delivers chocolate covered strawberries to my house, them bad boys ain’t makin’ it out.
So, mommas, please learn from my mistakes. If losing weight is your priority, you should probably be supplementing with formula. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if nursing is important to you, do not ruin it by dieting. Calories and complex carbs are your friends.